


This Thing Called Love

by RyRyCaptain



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alcohol, Anniversary, Football, Friends to Lovers, High School, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Abuse, M/M, Minor Character Death, Moving In Together, Party, Tattoos, Young Dan Howell, Young Louise Pentland, Young PJ Liguori, jock!phil, pastel!dan, punk!phil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-25
Updated: 2019-09-25
Packaged: 2020-10-28 08:02:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20775230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RyRyCaptain/pseuds/RyRyCaptain
Summary: This Thing Called Love is my (@ryrycaptain on Tumblr and Ao3) phanfic for this year’s PBB. It’s my first time doing a big job like this, so I hope it’s good.The lovely @pastelflours on Tumblr beta’d this for me. Margaret was amazing, and she helped me sort out my jumble of ideas and turn them into this lovely story. I would have never gotten this story to be as long as it is without her help.@gravityplant on Tumblr made the fantastic art that goes with the story. When they post, I’ll link it either on here or on my Tumblr (or both).





	This Thing Called Love

**Author's Note:**

> This Thing Called Love is my (@ryrycaptain on Tumblr and Ao3) phanfic for this year’s PBB. It’s my first time doing a big job like this, so I hope it’s good.
> 
> The lovely @pastelflours on Tumblr beta’d this for me. Margaret was amazing, and she helped me sort out my jumble of ideas and turn them into this lovely story. I would have never gotten this story to be as long as it is without her help.
> 
> @gravityplant on Tumblr made the fantastic art that goes with the story. When they post, I’ll link it either on here or on my Tumblr (or both).

Small sprigs of lavender were scattered throughout the bouquet of wildflowers. The strong scent filled the room as Dan trimmed the stems and put the fresh flowers into a vase. He smiled at the random gift he’d received from his boyfriend earlier that day. Sure, society didn’t think it was normal for men to like flowers, but Dan had a bit of an obsession with them. 

Dan picked up the vase and carried it into the lounge, lifting the flowers to his nose to smell them before carefully placing the vase down on the table. He's glad that he got a new bouquet, the old ones were wilted and no longer nice to look at. It was nice that Phil not only noticed, but that he cared enough to order new ones to be sent to the house. Dan had been woken by a knock at the door earlier that morning, a delivery man from the floral shop with the wildflowers and an attached note from Phil that made Dan's heart swell. 

Though nice, the smell of lavender made Dan’s stomach twist in a familiar way. The fragrance seemed to play an important part in his childhood. Dan's mother's favorite scent was lavender, so he could remember the various household objects in that common purple variety: laundry detergent, candles, perfumes.

Dan remembers it from his father's jacket when he had slept with his head on his father’s lap on the day his mother died. In the same hospital that she had saved lives, she’d lost hers. She had been in a car accident when he was around the age of eight. He didn’t remember much about the night of the accident, but he’d been told by many people what had happened. They told him she’d been driving home from her night shift as a nurse at the local hospital. She’d been hit by a drunk driver and being knocked into a coma by her head colliding with the steering wheel. She’d died in surgery.

The scent was even more present at her funeral. The gray walls had suffocated him as he stood on his tiptoes to look at his mother for the last time. He stared at the eerily peaceful face of his mother. Her hands rested daintily on her lap, and she had worn a beautiful, lavender dress that was ironed to perfection. As if someone was trying to hide the smell of chemicals that her body should have smelled of, she had smelt strongly of the lavender perfume she’d always worn.

When the scent of the perfume and the look of his dead mother’s face had gotten too overwhelming for him, he quickly said one last goodbye. He’d gone over to hang out with his next door neighbor, Louise, who’d been his best friend as long as he could remember. They played with dolls and toy cars for a few minutes before Louise had noticed how sad he was. 

Louise, intent on making her friend happy, had insisted that they make flower crowns. Dan spent the rest of the day braiding together lavender sprigs and other types of flowers picked from the decorations that littered the room. He’d tried one on that night and had made the decision that he liked the accessory. 

The accessory followed him through his life because the next thing he knew he was packing them away in a box. The sound of them being thrown inside echoed throughout the room as he took his anger out on them. He was livid that his father was ripping him away from his friends and throwing him into a new school with a group of strangers. 

Almost five years after Dan’s mother had died, Dan’s father had finally decided to stop moping around the house and took it upon himself to start dating again. Dan was happy for his father in a way. But at that moment, Dan had prayed that the older man’s newfound love interest would distract him.

Dan’s father had become an alcoholic, and he wasn’t the nicest when he was drunk. Dan missed the man that his father had been when he was married to Dan’s mother. Wishing that everything would go back to normal had been a long shot, but he had been desperate enough. 

Dan had met the new woman, named Sarah, quite a few times before they’d been forced to live together, and she had seemed relatively nice. Although she had definitely made a good first impression, Dan was originally wary of the stranger. The woman couldn’t replace his mother, but he knew that he had to at least warm up to the idea of it. Dan’s father had fallen head over heels with the new woman, and she had quickly become a regular at the dining table. 

The only thing that seemed to have kept Sarah from spending every waking moment with the Howell’s was the fact that she lived two hours away from them and hadn’t wanted to deal with the long drive to her work. Because of this, Dan’s father had come up with a brilliant idea for all of them to move to a new house together. A fresh start that was located a whole forty-five minutes from where Dan had grown up. 

In a way, the fresh start had helped Dan grow more as a person. He slowly developed new friendships that felt more natural than his with Louise. Louise had been a lovely friend, and they still kept in contact throughout the years. Their friendship had always seemed forced though. When they were younger, it never occurred to Dan that he could choose his own friends but separating himself from Louise helped him realize he was unhappy. 

Although he was scared that he’d be an outcast at the new school, people that were just as weird as he had started to become his friends. He’d found himself being integrated into a large group of friends. PJ had been the closest to him, but he also tended to hang out with people like Jack and Dean. He still seemed to stick out like a sore thumb. 

His attire seemed to distinguish him the same way it had at the old school. In a way, it had been comforting to him for something to be the same, but it also brought bullying. Slurs were often throw at him casually, and it became something he struggled with for his school career. He got so tired of the names thrown his way that he got a girlfriend.

She was a member of the same friend group as him and they’d talked a few times before. Dan’s friend Sophie had set them up on a blind date, and because she’d shown interest in him, they’d started dating.

Dan definitely liked her, but it was never romantic in his mind. Even though he had his doubts, he shared his first kiss with her. After the first time they kissed though, Dan stopped putting as much effort into making her happy. When she broke up with him, he realized how much of an asshole he’d been to her.

Remembering how he treated her made a pang of guilt rush through him again. He still regretted dating her when he knew he wasn’t interested. It would have still hurt her but it probably would have been better for both of them. Although he regretted it, he realized that without their relationship he would have never been able to pause and figure out what was going on inside his head.

When slurs like gay started to be thrown at him, he didn’t know what it meant. As he grew older though he learned it meant a boy who liked other boys. He’d never liked a boy romantically, but he’d never liked a girl that way either. 

It’d been a struggle to decode what was going on inside his head. When he took time to think about it, he realized that he’d found quite a few boys attractive. His attraction to girls barely existed though. As he dug deeper into his feelings, he realized that he did like one of his friends. He didn’t act on his crush because boys couldn’t like boys, and Dan wasn’t going to lose any of his friends when he’d put so much effort into making them.

After finally figuring out his sexuality, he decided to tell his parents. He had no clue how they would react that night. His father seemed to be against it from the things he shouted out at the television when the topic of gay rights came up, and he couldn’t guess what his stepmother thought about it. She had often stayed silent when most important issues came up. Dan knew his father had something to do with his stepmother’s quietness. 

It had been brought up at the dinner table one night. Dan had sat picking at a rips in his jeans before his stepmother broke him out of his deliberation. His father had apparently been talking to him, and when Dan asked him to repeat himself, his father had dropped a bomb on him.

The older man had asked him if he was gay. He had looked up at the man across from him. He had clenched his jaw shut. The fact that he decided to wear more feminine colors had probably made his father more suspicious of it.

His silence must have confirmed his father’s thoughts because the next thing the man had done was asked Dan to tell him it was false. When Dan said he couldn’t, his father flipped his lid and demanded to know what he meant. Screaming that he was gay, he shot out of his seat. 

He had never seen his stepmother’s expression so terrified he’d seen it in ages. When he had looked over at his father, he had realized why. The man’s face was red with anger and a snarl adorned his face. The older man launched himself out of the chair and demanded Dan leave.

He could still remember how fast he had bolted up into his room to pack the bare necessities into a satchel. His backpack and the satchel hung from his shoulders as he climbed down the tree outside his window. 

He had run so fast that when he stopped in front of PJ’s house his legs almost gave out from under him. He had shakily taken out his phone and called his friend. He didn’t know how he had gotten so luckily, but PJ had quickly invited him inside.

PJ hadn’t made him explain why Dan suddenly showed up at his door. Instead Dan was able to spend the night on his friends couch before they talked in the morning. After explaining what was wrong, PJ had offered to let Dan crash at his house until things were better.

Looking back, Dan probably wouldn’t have been able to stay sane without PJ’s help. Between his anxiety and depression, he wouldn’t have been able to cope without someone supporting him through that rough patch in his life. Dan reminded himself to give a call to PJ later to thank him for everything he did. 

Besides giving Dan a place to stay, PJ dragged Dan off to the party he met Phil at. His memory of the night was the best it could be with the haze of alcohol that surrounded it.

The party had been on a random Saturday night in June shortly after Dan’s sixteenth birthday. Although Dan didn’t originally plan on attending the party, PJ convinced him by lying that PJ wouldn’t leave his side. He had put on a lilac jumper and a pair of ripped, white jeans. Accenting his curly brown hair had been a crown of lavender sprigs. PJ had gone for a much simpler look of jeans and a T-shirt.

PJ’s friend, Chris, was hosting the party because his parents were out of town. Because of the lack of adult supervision, there had been a shit load of alcohol. The house was buzzing with drunken energy when Dan and PJ arrived. Almost immediately, PJ had run offto find Chris, and Dan was left to his own devices. He had been expecting PJ’s disappearance, so he barely gave it a second thought before heading into the kitchen. 

Bottles of alcohol were scattered between various sodas and juices. Dan had sighed and found a stack of red solo cups before mixing himself a screwdriver. He had wandered around the house talking to a few people while he drank. 

By the time he had finished the alcohol, the edges of his vision had started to blur, and he was already feeling more relaxed. He’d gotten himself caught up in a conversation with an incredibly drunk Tom and a slightly tipsy Hazel. When he had gone to take another drink, his brain finally processed that there wasn’t anything left in the cup, and he had excused himself from the group.

Once he had started to walk, he realized how tipsy he really had been. As much as he’d tried, he hadn’t been able to walk in a straight line. He had run into a few people during his trip to the kitchen, but that wasn’t the most embarrassing thing he’d done that night. He had tripped right into another person and had sent alcohol into the air. The other person had wrapped his arms around him in an effort to stabilize the bumbling boy. 

“Are you all right?” 

He’d recognized the northern drawl and had looked up into soft blue eyes. Gold and green specks weaved themselves throughout the other boy’s eyes and Dan had stared in shock for a few moments. The strong arms that had been wrapped around him belonged to his crush, Phil Lester. Snapping out of his reverie, Dan had mumbled out a quick reply and had straightened back up again. Surprisingly though, Phil had kept his arms wrapped around Dan’s waist and his beautiful Blue eyes had met Dan’s boring brown eyes.

Dan had felt Phil’s chest move as he gasped and another question had tumbled out of Phil’s mouth. The arms had quickly removed themselves from around Dan’s waist and a hand was stuck out. 

“You’re Dan Howell, right? I’m Phil. Phil Lester.”

Dan had been amazed that the jock knew his name and timidly took the blue eyes boy’s hand. Phil’s grip was firm and his hands were slightly calloused much like they are now. Dan had gotten to take in more of Phil’s appearance then. 

The older boy had been sporting his varsity jacket and a plain pair of black skinny jeans. He had his hair swept into a fringe, and piercings had adorned his eyebrow and lip.

Letting go of each other’s hands, Dan had reached up to straighten his flower crown. He had been reminded by the other’s clean appearance that he had looked like a mess. Conversation had continued on with ease after that and they’d eventually made their way onto a secluded couch. After getting to know each other more, Dan had realized that having a friendship with Phil Lester wasn’t going to be as impossible as he thought. They’d ended up exchanging numbers that night, and Dan had gone back to PJ’s house with a smile on his face. 

When PJ had asked him why he was so happy, Dan had replied by gushing about Phil and his perfect blue eyes. He’d been enamored by the black haired boy for ages at that point. If he wasn’t afraid of being rejected, he would have been friends with Phil a lot earlier.

They had talked a lot after that. Every time they had seen each other in the hall they would throw small waves and smiles at each other. Texting almost every night, their friendship had become stronger and stronger.

The first time Dan had been invited to Phil’s house, he had been slightly surprised to see all of the nerdy knick knacks stored throughout his room. Although Dan had known that Phil was really a giant nerd, he still had a hard time believing it. They had decided to skip doing their homework, so they’d played Mariokart instead. It had been surreal to sit with Phil in his room.

As if visiting his crush’s house hadn’t been overwhelming, Phil had made flirty remarks all night. Of course, Dan had reciprocated them. It hadn’t been new, but it had been shocking to realize that Phil had actually liked him. 

Conversation had flowed easily between the two, and Dan had finally met someone he felt he could trust. Unlike many of his previous relationships, Dan had known that Phil wasn’t going to leave him to pick himself up. 

Shortly after that night, Phil had asked Dan out on a proper date. Phil had located an American diner thirty minutes away from Dan’s house. Phil had picked him up, and they’d driven to the restaurant while singing along with Phil’s Muse CDs. When Dan had asked Phil why he’d picked an American diner, Phil had blamed his constant craving for American style pancakes. Dan had laughed at that and called himweird. 

After Phil had gotten his pancakes, they had decided to share a milkshake together. Dan had appreciated the romantic gesture, but Phil’s stomach had clearly disagreed with the decision.  
They had decided to take a walk in the park after their dinner. Phil had convinced Dan to stargaze with him. Although Dan had no clue where the constellations were, they’d still laid to the grass as Phil pointed out different constellations.

Later that night, they exchanged their first kiss. They’d somehow gotten off of the topic of stars, and instead, they’d begun joking around. Dan had looked over at Phil, and their eyes had met. Dan had blushed profusely when Phil had asked to kiss him. The kiss had been perfect. Phil’s soft lips had seemed to fit together with Dan’s chapped ones perfectly, and their mouths had worked in unison. Dan had realized in that moment that he’d fallen head over heels for the other boy already. 

They’d started officially dating after that night.

Dan had often found himself in his boyfriend’s varsity jacket. Phil had seemed to enjoy dressing his boyfriend in his clothing, and Dan had no problem snuggling into the scent of lemon and mint that his boyfriend smelled of. Dan had also started to attend the football games. Dan had suddenly found himself incredibly interested in the sport. Dan had also started spending more nights at Phil’s.

Although their relationship seemed perfect, it had suffered from a few bumps, but they always seemed to work things out. One of their biggest struggles had been the year they had been separated because of their age difference. Because Phil was a year older than Dan, he’d gone to college first. Phil had been given a scholarship because he’d been so good at the football. Dan had missed his boyfriend dearly, but they’d been able to FaceTime almost every night. 

Dan eventually ended up going to the same college as Phil, because the school had met his requirements. Dan had been relieved to be able to get out of Pj’s hair when he moved in with Phil. Dan hadn’t been able to get rid of his friend though because PJ had decided to go to the same college as Dan and Phil. Of course, Phil had offered to let PJ become one of their roommates instead of staying in a dorm room. PJ had declined, and he’d made a few dirty jokes that made Dan blush.

Dan was in his third year of college now, and Phil was in his last. They’d been together for almost five years, and their anniversary was coming up soon. Phil had done so much for him in the past five years, and Dan desperately wanted to make it up to his boyfriend. He’d already had multiple ideas, but he kept finding faults in them. He needed this to be perfect. 

He was finally more than just content with an idea. He was going to get a tattoo. Phil had already gotten a few, and Dan had gone with him to the parlor. He really wanted to marry their stereotypical personalities together. The tattoo needed flowers. That was one of his requirements. Other than that, he didn’t have much of a plan other than wanting it to be small enough to put on his wrist. 

Phil was going to be gone for the next few days on a trip up North to visit his extended family. Dan had been given the chance to go with him, but knowing that he would need time to plan out his gift, Dan had decided to stay home. He knew the tattoo wouldn’t be healed by the time Phil came home, but Dan didn’t think his boyfriend would mind. 

Dan had made an appointment at one of the tattoo parlors Phil frequented and scheduled an appointment for that day. He’d called up PJ and asked him to come along for the support. He grabbed his keys off the table. He was ready for this idea to become a reality.

—

It had hurt like a bitch, and maybe he was exaggerating. He'd been prepared for pain, but he misjudged how much it would hurt. The tattoo turned out amazing though. Dan had given some suggestions to the tattoo artist, Levi, and he’d drawn up a simple tattoo. It was honestly everything he’d dreamed of. 

The tattoo wasn’t anywhere near fully healed, but the healing process was going well. Even though it wasn’t going to look the best, Dan was still over the moon about showing Phil. 

He was excited for his boyfriend to come back home. It had only been a week, but for some reason, it felt like it’d been years. He probably had attachment issues, but he couldn’t think to far into it. He was interrupted from his thoughts by the front door opening and Phil coming inside.

Dan rushed to greet his boyfriend. In his frenzy, he’d tripped and ended up throwing himself into the older man’s arms prematurely. Phil dropped his luggage onto the floor as he chuckled. Dan was glad when he felt Phil pull him close and bury his nose into Dan’s curls. “Thank you for the flowers,” Dan muttered into his boyfriend’s chest.

“You’re welcome, clumsy,” Phil teased.

“I didn’t mean to trip.”

“I know that.”

They stood there for a minute, wrapped in each other’s embrace, as Phil swayed them back and forth gently. When Phil pulled away, he looked at Dan with a spark in his eye that made Dan’s heart clench. “Nice jacket,” Phil laughed . 

Dan looked down and flushed in embarrassment when he realized what he was wearing. In his state of loneliness, he’d gone through their closet in search of Phil’s old varsity jacket. Although his boyfriend rarely wore it anymore, it somehow had retained a smell that was distinctly Phil. Curling up in the old jacket seemed to help Dan feel calm down. 

“I missed you,” Dan muttered in reply.

“I missed you too.” 

“It feels like it’s been ages.”

“It does. Doesn’t it?” Phil said bending down to pick up his fallen luggage.

“I think I missed you too much.” 

“I think I missed you more,” Phil countered. 

He’d started moving towards the living room, and Dan was following him like a lost puppy. When Phil finally got to the living room, he leaned his suitcase against the wall and flopped down onto the couch. Dan followed suit, cuddling into his boyfriend. 

“I don’t think that’s possible,” he muttered into Phil’s chest. 

“Mmh, I think it is,” 

They laid like that for a while. Phil started playing with his hair as they relaxed. It was one of those moments that dan hated and enjoyed at the same time. They never felt the need to talk to each other when it settled into these comfortable silences, but Dan also tended to get lost in his head, which wasn’t always the best, in these moments. He sighed, snuggling further into Phil.

“What did you do when I was gone?” Phil said breaking Dan out of his thoughts.

“Nothing much.”

“Mhm. Pj said different.”

“What?”

“He said you guys hung out. You guys haven’t seen each other in a while. Where you really that bored without me?”

“Of course I was.”

“You’re pathetic.”

“I’m clingy.”

“What’d you guys even do?”

“It’s a secret.”

“Ok.”

“That’s all I get? An ok? I thought you’d want to know.”

Phil stayed silent then. Dan looked up at him and made eye contact with his boyfriend. Dan knew exactly what Phil was doing, and it was quite funny to be honest. “I’m going to go unpack,” Phil announced unceremoniously.

“What? No.”

“You know you can come with me.” 

Dan huffed and climbed off his boyfriend waiting for Phil to get up before following him like a lost puppy. Dan starfished out onto the bed and watched as Phil unpacked his bag. Most of its contents ended up being thrown towards the laundry basket haphazardly. Dan watched intently waiting for a gift to be thrown his way. He wasn’t expecting Phil to have bought something for him, but on his previous escapades to the Isle of Man, he’d brought Dan back rocks or seashells that Phil said reminded him of Dan. 

As if on cue, Phil pulled out a small cinched bag and threw it at Dan. Dan popped up and scrambled to find the bag. “It’s just a small gift,” Phil mumbled. 

Dan stared at it quizzically for a minute before opening it and spilling the contents onto the bed. An array of seashells and stones spilled out onto the sheets. Dan picked up each one gingerly and examined them. Sometimes he couldn’t see why the knickknacks reminded Phil of him, but other times it was easy to figure out. 

He sat sorting through them for awhile, and in that time, Phil had made his way over to the bed. They next time Dan picked up a rock he was startled out of his thoughts by Phil. “I always try to look for ones that are as beautiful as you, but I’ve concluded that nothing can mirror your beauty”

“You’re such a sap,” Dan replied.

“But I’m your sap.”

Dan hummed in agreement. As much as he pretended that he hated the sappy comments, they’d both watched enough romance movies together to know that Dan secretly lived for cheesy sayings like that. 

By the time Dan was done going through the souvenirs, they were both too tired to cook. Phil took the liberty of ordering takeaway. They ordered pizza and made quick work of eating it as they watched Stranger Things. When Dan fell asleep that night, all he could think about was their anniversary tomorrow and how perfect he wanted it to be. 

—

They sunlight streamed through the window of their bedroom. Dan distinctly remembered pulling shut the curtains last night, but maybe it had been a dream. He rolled over expecting to bump right into Phil, but he was taken aback when he realized the other man wasn’t there. Suddenly the open curtains made more sense. 

Phil tended to be slightly more of a morning person than Dan was, and Dan often found him cooking breakfast in the morning. Dan sat up with a slight grumble and stretched. He padded out of the room quietly and made his way into the kitchen. He could hear Phil humming the tune to some movie they watched last night. They seemed to finish Stranger Things fairly quickly after all.

When he finally made it to the kitchen, Dan walked up behind Phil and wrapped his arms around the other man’s torso, and Phil turned around to peck Dan on the cheek. Dan peeked over Phil’s shoulder and watched as his boyfriend made them pancakes. “They smell delicious,” Dan commented. 

Phil hummed in response. “There’s coffee in the pot if you want some.” 

Dan nodded and grabbed a mug out of the cabinet, filling it with coffee. He sat on the counter and turned towards Phil. “What are we doing today?”

It was a stupid question in a way. They had dinner plans that night at some slightly upscale restaurant. It was slightly expensive, but they’d decided that it was worth the money for something as special as a five year anniversary. Dan however had no clue what their plans were for the rest of the day. 

“I thought we could lounge around before our dinner reservations,” Phil said loading pancakes onto two different plates. He set one in front of Dan and leaned back against the counter opposite of Dan. “If that’s okay with you.”

“That sounds fine.”

They ate in relative silence. Dan had asked a few questions about Phil’s trip, but other than that the room had been surprisingly quiet. When they were finished they sat in silence before Dan felt the need to break the calm atmosphere. “I’m going to go get changed.”

“That’s fine,” Phil replied, “Do you want me to turn something on while you do that?”

Dan muttered a quick yes before they parted ways. Dan had slept in a sweatshirt that night to avoid his tattoo being shown, but since it was their anniversary, Dan opted for a short sleeved short and some sweatpants.

Dan meandered back into the living room and found all of Phil’s attention on the television. Dan laid on the couch and put his head into his boyfriend’s lap. Phil’s hand found its way to Dan’s hair and gently started combing through it. They sat in silence for a while before Phil finally ripped his attention from the TV and onto Dan.

“Dan you want something to drink?” Phil asked.

Dan shook his head. Even though he’d be losing his pillow for a while, something to drink would help quell how parched his mouth felt. Phil climbed out from under Dan and left to get them drinks. 

Dan found himself caught up in thought. Today was their five year anniversary, and even though it was a small amount of time in the long run, they’d grown so much together that it felt much longer. Dan flashed back to the night they’d met again. He couldn’t believe that it’d been five years since that night. 

As if their meeting was a trigger, he was suddenly looking back at everything that had lead up to that moment. The more he thought about it, the more he realized how lucky he was to have found Phil, even if he had to lose a few people to gain the wonderful man. 

Phil came back with their glasses which broke Dan out of his daze. Dan reached up to grab his cup, and he heard Phil take in a sharp breath. He sat there trying to figure out what was wrong until he realized that he’d reached up with the wrist his tattoo was on.

Dan looked up to see Phil staring at the design. It was a simple vine of flowers wrapped around his wrist, but in the middle, the flowers wrapped around Phil’s football number. It was simple in the way Dan was going for, but it was also bold in the way it was colored. 

“It’s beautiful,” Phil murmured.

“It’s your anniversary gift,” Dan whispered as if talking to loud would break the spell. “I know it’s not the best, but it was the only thing-”

“I love it.”

Dan looked up at Phil to see tears forming in the other man’s eyes. “Shit, Dan,” he muttered, “I think you did a better job than I did.”

Dan laughed at that, “I’m sure you did a better job.”

Phil shook his head. “No. I don’t think anything could trump how amazing this is.”

Phil sat their glasses down onto the coffee table and wrapped Dan in a hug. Dan buried his face into Phil’s should. “Shit Dan, I love you so much.”

“I love you too.”

Pure relief and pride flooded into Dan’s chest in that moment. Dan had never felt more safe and loved than in Phil’s arms. After all these years, it was still apparent how much he loved Phil, and he was glad Phil still loved him. Dan may have had to lose a few people, but as long as he had Phil, he was fine with that.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! You can follow me on Tumblr @ryrycaptain, my lovely artist @gravityplant, and my amazing beta @pastelflours. I hope you enjoyed.


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